The Man. The Maneuver. The Pain
Learn from the mistakes of others, for life is too short to make them all yourself- Some wise douche
“The pain of being overweight is far worse than the pain of working out”
This and several other inspirational and bad ass motivational quotes were painted across the walls of my previous gym. And, I sincerely believed in them, until, I realized there’s another pain, far, far greater than the pain of working out. It’s the pain of the workout injury. It is like the ace trump card of the pains. Like the Big Show’s card in the WWF trump cards we used to play as kids, (Okay, you get the point). But, that wasn't until I experienced it myself while lifting 300 lbs on bench press, when the rod holding the weights snapped under it, and I had to let the weights fall on my shoulder to save the helper dude from getting crushed under it…. Ok, clearly I over exaggerated there. But, you know it’s not like I am proud to admit that I injured myself lifting some average weights because I was “CARELESS”! That was almost 2 years back.
Now I am no subject matter expert, not on weight training, not on sports, or related injuries, or even remotely close to being a fitness expert. So, why am I wasting the precious time, both yours and mine?… Well, to answer that, it’s important to know that my interest in weight training developed around 6 or 7 years back. Now, you may be compelled to picture someone who has been working for that long to have a chiseled, Greek God like physique. Which is more or less true, just that it’s like Greek God migrated to South India, and made rice his staple diet. Thus, most of the cuts gave way to flab from starchy food, and 6 pack got replaced with family pack. And to put things in perspective, after training for all these years, my contribution to weight training and body building universe rivals Uday Chopra’s contribution… to serious, subject based cinema.
But, as somebody tried covering up for being a moron by saying that “A stopped clock is also right, twice a day”. So that kindda encouraged me to share the wisdom and knowledge treasure I have accumulated over the years with the unsuspecting and ignorant people in my network, afterall, Why not?… So, now assuming that your IQ level is superior to that of Rahul Baba; It’s an ordinary deduction, my friend Watson, that this post is not about PRO weight training or body building tips. It’s about when you are on the ever elusive pursuit of getting into “that” perfect shape, it’s important to not suck at taking basic care and precautions during the course of workout.
Disclaimer: The information thrown up at you and left for you to digest is purely based on author’s experience, and unverified internet researches. No one has bothered to corroborate the findings with any primary study or data, or to even consider discussing it with a certified professional. If you experience any physical or mental trauma while following the listed advice, it would be purely coincidental, and totally unrelated to this post and no one dead or alive can ever be responsible for you being dumb. Mahalo!
Here Goes The Gyan:
- Pay For The Instructor, Not The Fitness Club
While it may seem important to take membership of a gym with good facilities (Often also confused with “good crowd” by young-lings), just remember those arms, pectoral and leg muscles aren't going to work themselves out sitting on the comfortable benches, or AC rooms, or for that matter, ogling at the chics in the gym. It’s important to find out early if the instructors at your gym are serious about members work out and exercising techniques or just beefed up showpieces, who only bother to shake hands with you when your membership fees is due.
2. There Are No Short Cuts. Never Was, Never Will Be.
I have been an unassuming victim of the smooth talking Ombir/Satbir/Kuldeep/Anil/Dinesh/XYZ bhai, who have almost always tried to sell me that miracle supplement/pills, which guarantees bulging biceps and broad chest within a month. NEVER EVER TRUST ANYONE WHO FITS THAT PROFILE. Nothing works out till you get off your lazy bum, and exercise regularly. While, it’s never bad to add to your diet with dietary supplements, always consult a physician, or at least do a basic internet research on the substance.
3. Act Your Age.
I was 21 once, I never again will be. No matter how much I try to fool my mind, and push the limits of endurance. The cramp in the leg, the sore knee or that back spasm is a good enough indicator that it’s time to act your age. After a point, doing an honest workout is more important than the size of the weights you lift.
4. Warm Up First, Blow Steam Later!
I know it’s outright boring and dull to waste 10-15 min. of the severely rationed gym time from our schedule on treadmill or cycling. I mean Arnold never got those big guns by cycling his way through the gym, right?
Well, maybe. But, if you are looking to work out for as long as Arnold has, it’s important to do it without any major hiccups. Warming up your body and pre/post stretching ensures just that, and also that your unblemished skin remains stretch mark free. Trust me you don’t want that.
5. Drink Up!
Make sure to replenish your fluid intake by having your favorite beer before every workout… yeah, you wish!
But, if you don’t want cramps, dehydration and scaly/itchy skin, ensure that you keep yourself hydrated. No matter what your ill trained coach says, keep taking little sips of water between the workout. Period.
6. Choose Your Partner Wisely
While this holds true for life in general, but, it’s all the more important to pair up with right kind of people if you are actually looking to find a training partner. DO NOT engage chatty people, trust me on this one. My gym accident occured because of a chatty partner. Gym is not the place you would want to do that.
Secondly, there are lot of wanna be Spartans out there. It’s always suggested for mere mortals to stay clear of pairing with them. However, if you are actually willing to test the boundaries of your endurance, go ahead. It’s your body after all.
7. You Don’t Have To Prove It.
All said and done, it’s your body at the line. Know your limits, know the proper techniques, and most of all know that it’s all about feeling good. You don’t have to lift Herculean weights to show it off. Just workout enough to feel good from inside and out.
Wow! Writing all this has really charged me up. Good thing it’s Monday tomorrow, I resolve to hit the gym with new enthusiasm and energy… Just like I have been planning to do since last few dozen Mondays!.. ;)
And now that you know all that, and if you are done with your excuses, then GO GET RIPPED! … I will sign off with the famous words of Buzz LightYear from Toy Story- To Infinity And Beyond.
PS: It’s funny I thought of that line from animated Toy Story to sign off from a post which deals with a pro masculine subject. But, I believe the sentence “To infinity and beyond” perfectly describes the journey and struggle to attain that perfectly sculptured physique.
